


On a Scale of One to Ten

by therunawaypen



Series: 00Q Tumblr Prompt Fills [92]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Banter, M/M, Pain, Pain tolerance, mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 08:38:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1381099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therunawaypen/pseuds/therunawaypen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James has a high tolerance for pain. Q decides to help James come up with his own scale of pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On a Scale of One to Ten

**Author's Note:**

> 00Q! Alright, so I just found out that there is a chance that my pain tolerance is so high, it is completely plausible that I have had acute appendicitis for three weeks. I don’t feel any excruciating pain, just tiny jabs here and there. I’m thinking maybe it’s that way for James too; when he says it doesn’t hurt he isn’t lying. How about a piece where Q is trying to make James his own unique pain scale, because the normal one doesn’t work? — cosmicpeanutbutter

“Alright James, you were just shot in the leg, what would you rate that on a scale of one to ten?”

_“Probably a four.”_

Q looked down at the list he was compiling. Based on James description, as well as a similar list Q had done with Alec for comparison, James was feeling about the same level of pain Alec felt when 006 was stung by a jellyfish, “Just so I’m sure, does it hurt more or less than the time you were bit by a cobra?”

There was a pause on James’s side of the line, though Q could faintly hear grunts and cries of pain. But given James’s unique relationship with pain, those cries weren’t from the agent. Finally, Q could hear James’s voice again, _“Slightly more, but it hurts a lot less than the time I broke my femur.”_

“I should hope so.” Q drawled, writing down notes, “…You _have_ stopped the bleeding of that bullet wound, yes?”

_“Of course I have. I’m not stupid, Q.”_

Q chuckled, “Good job, now why don’t you get out of there before we have to analyze any more of your pain?”

 _“Sounds like a plan._ ”

There was a long stretch of silence in which 007 was most likely working on his exit. Q used that time to compare notes. Honestly, the fact it had taken MI6 this long to discover that 007’s pain tolerance was so far above average…well, no matter, Q was going to create a better scale to assess any physical damage done to the agent, since he could not be a good judge of pain.

Though if getting shot in the leg was only a four (and Q wasn’t aware of what caliber bullet had been used, he’d have to ask James when he was free), he shuddered to think what would be a nine or ten on 007’s scale of pain.

It would most likely kill him.

“He’s insane, I swear.” R muttered from his seat next to Q’s.

Q only smiled, “He certainly makes things interesting, though.”

_“I’m glad my pain interests you so.”_

“Not just your pain, love.”

“ _Must_ you do that in the middle of a mission?” R looked rather flustered at Q’s banter with James.

There was a pause on James’s end of the line, followed by the sound of several honking cars. James must have hijacked something. “ _Someone sounds uptight.”_

Q chuckled, “Yes, well, we can’t all be as cool as cucumbers after being shot in the leg.”


End file.
